Sickness

Homesickness.

The nightly Skype conversation with Dad.

Widget: Why are you still at our old house?
Dad: So that I can sell it and get our stuff ready to go.
Widget:  Are you going to pack my dolphin slippers?
Dad: Yes, I will bring them when I visit.
Widget: Why are you still at our old house?
Dad: So I can pack up and sell the house.
Widget: Are you going to pack my dolphin slippers?
Dad: Yes.
Widget: Why are you still at our old house?

(Rinse. Repeat.)

Sometimes it's hard to be three.

Heart Sickness.

Yesterday, we went to the memorial service of my cousin's son, who was way too young to be gone.

It was an absolute blessing to see so many of my family members and know that it will be much easier to see them again now that we are nearby.  The Girl was clearly pleased to be around people who so willingly demonstrated their love for her even if it was a bit overwhelming.

My cousin Colby committed suicide earlier this month.  This is the third person I've lost to suicide and I still don't understand it. How can they not know how much they are loved? How everyone around them would have done anything to help them, to make the pain go away?

Colby with two of his favorite things.

My heart breaks for his mom, my cousin, Beth, her husband and her daughters. Nothing is going to make this easier for them.  But the most touching moment of the day was when I went to say goodbye to his sister, Jen.  Widget had been aloof most of the afternoon, but didn't hesitate in giving a sweet leg hug to Jen.  It made my heart sing to see how it touched her. 

Sometimes it's easy to be three.

Just Plain Old Sickness.

It had been three days of 3 a.m. callings by the Girl. "Mom? I can't sleep. I miss Dad." I feel for her, but I have my limits. Not only does she wake up the whole house, but half the time I can't get back to sleep. Finally, after getting about four hours of sleep the night before and the fact that I am clearly coming down with a bladder infection, I am about to lose my mind. The extreme exhaustion and the telltale pain in my pelvis combined with a lack of health insurance have turned me into a pile of goo.  This time the household is woken up by my sobbing.

The next night, we were all desperately hoping for some sleep. Unfortunately, it was not to be. Instead, Kim and I were awakened by a weeping sick girl burning up with a 102.9 fever.  Poor baby was so sick. Not a drop of kid's medicine or a thermometer she'd use in the house.  So off I went for a midnight trip to Wal-Mart.  We're lucky I made it there and back in one piece as tired as I was.

Sometimes it's hard to be the Mom (and the roommate).

I might have freaked Chris out with a 2 a.m. phone call.  But his calm voice on the other end of the line was just what I needed.

She felt much better after emptying her stomach on Kim, the floor and the Bee. Good times. So we turned on the TV, she snuggled up and after not too long, she fell asleep. And so did we.

The next night we had a plan.  She would sleep in the big bed with Kim if she woke up.  Mom got an excellent night's sleep (I was the only one who had to work the next day), but Kim got more than she bargained for.  The dogs, Logan and Lexi, decided that they knew much better than either of us about caring for tiny humans.  Two 40-lbs dogs took over the bed in their quest to protect her from certain doom. 


Lord and Protector Logan

Protector Lady Lexi

And on a side note...

Widget's Wise Words of the Week

We are driving on the highway in heavy traffic in the far left HOV lane and I realize that our exit is RIGHT THERE.  Four lanes over!  I turn on my blinker and this jacka** is in my blind spot and won't move.  This is a critical turn and it adds 15 minutes for us to get back to where we need to be.  I was so frustrated and my language might have been a *little* on the colorful side.  The whole time.  The girl pipes up from the back seat:  "You know, Mom, if you were being nicer, it would probably work out better for you."

Good point.

Breathing

I am very overwhelmed in a number of ways right now, so breathing reminds me to slow down, take a minute, and not let it overtake me.  Let's do it together.  Breathe in...  Breathe out.... Better, see?

Flooding Madness.

100-Year or 1,000-Year Floods.  No one seems to know, but it's a lot.

My heart right now is in Colorado.  It is absolutely incredible and surreal to see my home for the last 17 years on the national news and all over the internet covered in mud and water.

On Sunday morning, I received a reverse-911 call notifying me of an evacuation notice for our subdivision in Milliken (where Chris is) which sent me into a day obsessed with media reports, evacuation maps, road closure maps, and convincing my husband that he should, in fact, leave.  He did not have internet, so couldn't see the insane disaster all around him nor the constantly repeating message that the rescue crews would not return for people who didn't evacuate when they were supposed to.



Train cars sleeping.
This picture was taken in Milliken near Hwy 60 & Quentine, very near our house.

Highway 60 - a road I travelled on daily.

Chris was able to return home at 5 p.m. that evening. It stopped raining and the fears that they would have to shut the town down receded, even if the floodwaters still haven't. It takes 3x as long to go places now, but Colorado has moved on to recovery and my thoughts and love are with everyone there.  It is going to be a long haul.

Breathe.

Curation Madness.

I am loving my new job.  The people I work with have been so incredibly welcoming and supportive! I am excited to dig in and make some amazing professional museum-y headway.  Yesterday I had a meeting on the new museum exhibit project and I got really excited about it.  It is really fabulous to be acknowledged for my knowledge and experience rather than be put down. 

My sweet little museum

Delicious treats from the boss!

Inspiring exhibit team--full of professionals!

Right now my biggest frustration is that there is so much to wrap my brain around plus just finding things is a challenge.  I have to get a handle on where the collections are, what we have, what my resources are and what the history of my new community is.  No problem.

Breathe.

Tiny Human Madness.

Widget is really doing amazingly well.  She seems to be loving her new school and her teacher.  She is clearly learning lots of new things and fitting in well.  I love seeing her so stimulated and thrilled to show me each new thing she did.  Check out this awesome artwork!

Mom and daughter--my favorite!

A colorful house with green bushes

First Day at school

Nevertheless, I worry.  She is sucking her thumb more.  She is so exhausted at night that she puts herself to bed a half an hour early.  She can't seem to get herself up in the morning and she's not taking naps at school.  She wants to eat breakfast at home even though she'll get it at school.  She still wears diapers to bed.  She wants to watch TV every night, but if she does she's a cranky mess.  She misses her daddy and tells me every day that she wants to see him.  It's a little heart breaking.  But kids are resilient -- I'm sure she'll be fine.  But will I?

Breathe.

Breathing is good but so are Potato Chips. And Brownies. And Beer. 

Traveling: Hermiston to Lacey

We Made It!

The Drive.  This was the most beautiful leg of our trip by far.  The Columbia River is amazing!Widge got so excited when she saw "Our Mountain" (Rainier).  I had planned this really cool easy hike for kids that  would take us to a beautiful waterfall.  I was so excited because I had actually gotten the timing right for us to do the hike and then eat lunch.  Both of the other days, the stops I had planned we ended up there too late.  Of course, when dealing with a 3-year old, you might as well just toss the plans right out the window.  She fell asleep 15 minutes before our stop with absolutely no chance of waking her.  She missed the most beautiful part of the drive.  Oh well. :)  So instead I decided that whenever she woke up, we'd stop, I'd find a park and we'd lunch.  We were only an hour from our destination, but she was happy.

Playground in Kelso, WA

The Arrival.  Not only was seeing a friendly face, well...friendly... But when I walked into the house and found a perfectly prepared girl's room, it was absolutely incredible! Thanks, Kimmers! :)  She loved everything about it. There was a girl-sized kitchen, dolls to dress, a small sofa, new puzzles and a special present to open.  She played in her room for at least an hour.

A special present!

First night in her new bed - Cozy!
(The horse was the present)

 The Firsts. On Thursday, we both had our first day. School for the little miss, work for me.  So far, I love the school, it's open and clean and everyone was very friendly and kind.  She was so excited to go and had a great drop off - no tears, just a bit of shyness.  Today she drew, played outside, sang songs and made new friends.  She misses Dad a lot.

First day of school drawing

 The Museum, Day One.  My day consisted of meeting people, meeting more people, attending budget meetings (my museum 2014 budget was approved - yay!), seeing my offices, getting oriented with my boss, meeting more people, getting my i.d. card, meeting with HR, filling out forms and meeting more people!

First Impressions:

• I really like my boss; she is very glad I'm there.
• Everyone seems very supportive and happy.
• I have a *ton* of work to do and half of it I don't know how to do yet (where are the photographs and how do I find a specific one?).
• I wish there was a book on Lacey history because I need to know it by Tuesday.
• People seem to be waiting for me to share my expertise and help them do better.
• I am really looking forward to going to work tomorrow.  It's been a very long time since I felt that way.

Travelling: Uintah to Hermiston

Rejuvenation by cookie!

Cranky Pants.  That pretty much describes us both.  Although our hotel room bed was super comfy and we slept great, we clearly didn't get quite enough.  And then I didn't have nearly enough coffee and no signs for coffee until Mountain Home, Idaho. Widget did fine until her movie was over and then...

Things that were yelled/whined/crabbed at me:

• I want to go to the pool now (at 8 a.m. and multiple times thereafter).
• I don't want to leave our room! I like our room! I want to stay here.
• I want to go home!
• I want to see my dad!
• I don't want to listen to MUSIC!
• I said I wanted to wash up!
• (two minutes later) No, I don't want to wash up!
• Are we there yet?
• Are we there yet?
• Are we there yet?
• I want to go to the pool now!

My mood was much improved after a caramel latte and the quiet two hours of her nap.  Her mood was much improved after a two-hour nap, walking around the shady, breezy green rest stop and a cookie.

My favorite part of the day:  Free dinner and beer at the hotel followed by the hot tub.

My favorite part of the drive:  Oregon, hands down.  The scenery slowly changed to the forested mountains and winding rivers - beautiful!  Plus, it means we're almost home. :)

Random moment: At the Bliss rest stop in Idaho, we met a Navy vet, who was coming back from a reunion of the USS Enterprise.  We chatted for a bit, but I was eager to get on our way. He tried to get me to let him show me his trunk full of Enterprise artifacts. Oh dear.  I was curious, but knew I'd be there for an hour and wouldn't be able to keep my museum curator mouth shut. I thanked him but said we had to be on our way.

***

Widget thought of the day:

After explaining the "out of order" sign on the bathroom door at a rest stop: "Why is the bathroom out of batteries?"

Travelling: Milliken to Uintah

It looks so short on the map!

Can I just say I have the most amazing kid?  She smiled all day and never cried once.  I felt like whining more than she did.

The Steel Bladder.  So I tell people all the time that she can hold it forever, but somehow I'm the one worrying excessively about her choosing not to go.  This morning we left a little before eight and I realized long about Fort Collins that she woke up dry and didn't go before getting in the car.  I asked her if she had to go and of course she said "No."  Seriously? How could you not have to go?  Ever hopeful, I stopped anyway. Something to know about Widget is that her ears are very sensitive. This bathroom had a (loud) fan that turned on/off with the lights. All bets were off.  Crap.

So in about an hour, I had to go again. (No steel bladder for me--I've had a kid and too much coffee)  We stopped this time at a truck stop.  I asked if she had to go. "No." Sigh. I grabbed a pull-up, just in case, because I'm NOT going to clean a car seat while on the road. No sirree.  I let her pick the stall. She gently opened the door and low and behold the heavens opened. No automatic toilet. No fan. "Look, Mom, a potty just my size! I *do* have to go!"

Later when we stopped for lunch, she had to go.  Still brandishing the pull-up, we went inside.  Drat. Automatic toilets. (Unexpectedly noisy is bad, too). We tried again after lunch and apparently, she had to go bad enough that she could use the toilet as long as I covered the sensor.  Whew!

Moral of the story? She'll go when she has to.  I just hope that there is a bathroom whenever that happens.

***

This reminds me why I am not a fan of driving through Wyoming.

Yes, I was taking a picture while driving fast. Shhh!

I was thinking about how boring Wyoming was when suddenly the dirt turned red and it was beautiful against the green foliage. I thought, "Finally!" and then realized I was now in Utah.

The Latest Adventure

The original idea I had for this blog was that I would write down my progress in learning to tat, share what I had learned with others, and have a record of what I had accomplished.  Well, life is just to complicated and full for me to regularly tat, much less blog about it. So, today I decided after spending the last few weeks reading all kinds of blogs that I'd rather write a blog about whatever is on my mind, has me thinking, irritated or excited and hope that it strikes a chord with others. Given that tomorrow I start a grand adventure it seemed appropriate to change the layout and scope.

Today I share my last day in Colorado with my family and friends in a big celebration. I am excited to see everyone and a bit sad to go. Tomorrow I begin a three-day trek... across country...in a car...with a three-year-old. Insane?  Maybe.  I prefer to think...adventure! 

Next week I begin my new job as a museum curator in a small city in Washington state.  I am excited, thrilled, and scared as all get out.  I'll be doing a bit of everything and most certainly stepping out of my comfort zone.

Well, what are you waiting for?  Let's go!